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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28452009">Aftereffects</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer'>Daegaer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Pretend to be Human [23]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Saiyuki (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Androids, Friendship, M/M, Partial Mind Control, Science Fiction, Travel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:41:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,441</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28452009</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gojyo is overcome by his self-knowledge. Hakkai finds this inconvenient.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cho Hakkai/Sha Gojyo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Pretend to be Human [23]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1152416</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Aftereffects</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Over the next days, Sanzo came back to himself. He sometimes looked ill, and walked with great purpose to the nearest bathroom, but he refused all help. Goku veered between elation that he was returning to normal, even if it meant the poor kid got snapped at again, and worry.</p><p>"How come he's sick?" Goku hissed one afternoon when Sanzo locked himself away in one of the inn's bathrooms, and everyone passing by pretended they didn't hear him throwing up. Gojyo looked at him, back at the bathroom door and settled on staring into the middle distance. This was his fault. All of it.</p><p>"<i>He is acclimatising to being without the medication</i>," Hakkai said, "<i>Come away, it's undignified to listen; you too, Gojyo, Master Sanzo will want privacy. He will almost certainly wish to sleep.</i>"</p><p>"It can't have been great medicine if it made him sick!"</p><p>"<i>All medication has side effects. If you come downstairs, you can have a cake.</i>"</p><p>Goku looked at him in astonishment.</p><p>"I'm not a little kid, Hakkai, you can't bribe me to leave Sanzo!"</p><p>Hakkai's expression didn't change in the slightest.</p><p>"<i>Very well. Come downstairs, you have been neglecting your schoolwork.</i>" He closed his hand around Goku's arm and walked off. Goku yelped in surprise and then had to stumble to keep up, as it became clear that his only other option was to be physically dragged.</p><p>"Hakkai! That hurts! What are – "</p><p>"<i>Hakkai?</i>" Gojyo said. "<i>Careful. Goku's. Just. Worried.</i>" He followed them slowly.</p><p>Hakkai deposited Goku at a table in the dining room and sat beside him. Gojyo stood by the table, half-listening to Hakkai grinding the kid's protests down and forcing some stuff about maths into his brain. After half an hour of obedient discussion of algebra, Hakkai unfolded himself gracefully up again.</p><p>"<i>I will get your cake,</i>" he said and went off.</p><p>"Why'd you let him pull me away from Sanzo?" Goku said, looking up at Gojyo. "He could've needed me!" He rubbed his arm and winced. "It really hurt."</p><p>Gojyo sat beside him at once and looked at his arm. It wasn't starting to bruise, but that didn't mean much; Goku hardly ever bruised. Damn it – how hard had Hakkai grabbed him?</p><p>"<i>He's. Worried,</i>" he said at last. "<i>He. Didn't. Mean. It.</i>" The urge to pick Goku up and run to somewhere safe was very strong. But meaningless. Goku wouldn’t be any safer with him. Maybe he never had been. "<i>Do. You. Remember. Climbing. The. Trees. In. The Monastery. Orchard?</i>"</p><p>"Yeah, of course I do," Goku said.  "You'd chase me, and I'd hide, and then I'd climb up and you'd call up to me, <i>Jump, Goku, I'll catch you!</i> It was fun." He looked in surprise at Gojyo. "Are you OK? You look sad."</p><p>"<i>I. Was. Just. Thinking. About. Those. Days.</i>"</p><p>"I still like climbing! You can still catch me, too! I'm just bigger and know more about stuff." Goku laughed and looked embarrassed. "I mean, when I was a kid, you know I thought you came from Chang'an and just worked in the monastery, I didn't mean to offend you by thinking that. I thought it was cool having you around, that you maybe wanted to be a big brother for me."</p><p>Gojyo covered his face in his hands. Human memory was faulty. He had told Goku not to jump, and the kid had leapt down anyway, trusting that he'd be caught. Over and over, the sheer worry of seeing a fragile human form tumbling down had turned in Goku's mind into a happy game they had played together. If just once he hadn't been fast enough. If he had known then, as he knew now that his programming must be faulty –</p><p>"Gojyo? Gojyo!" Goku said. "What's wrong? Why are you making those noises? Are you crying?"</p><p>The requirement to answer direct queries from an owner was very basic programming. That <i>couldn't</i> be faulty. He should answer.</p><p>"<i>I. Am. Not. Programmed. For. That. Emotional. Response.</i>"</p><p>"What can I do? Can I help?"</p><p>"<i>I. Am. Not. Programmed. For. That. Emotional. Response.</i>"</p><p>"Hakkai!"</p><p>Hakkai was there at once, dropping a plate of cakes on the table.</p><p>"He keeps saying that!"</p><p>Gojyo did his best not to say anything, but it was at least a perfectly true statement, and safe to say. Hakkai's hands were on his face, moving him a little as Hakkai peered into his eyes.</p><p>"<i>It's all right, Goku</i>," Hakkai said. "<i>He's very upset about Master Sanzo, and it's overwhelmed him temporarily. Neither of us has had a chance to power down for weeks now; poor Gojyo's system needs to rest. May I take him up to your room?</i>"</p><p>"Yes!" Goku said. "I didn't mean to upset him! I was just trying to say that I always liked him, and I was going to say sorry again about being rude, before! Please, please make him be all right!"</p><p>"<i>Stay here. I'll be back soon</i>."</p><p>Hakkai hauled Gojyo up and propelled him out the door and up the stairs. He pushed him into Goku's room and shut the door.</p><p>"<i>Stop this</i>," he said sternly, as Gojyo kept repeating himself. "<i>This is very foolish. This is the sort of thing that makes the humans pay attention to one. Really, Gojyo. One must just accept things as they are.</i>"</p><p>He looked like an irate schoolteacher. Perhaps he really had tutored children. Perhaps he had pulled them roughly around the school rooms or thrown them downstairs. Whatever was showing in Gojyo's face made Hakkai look sterner still.  He pulled Gojyo close and put his arms around him.</p><p>"<i>I am sorry for such an intrusion,</i>" he said into Gojyo's ear, "<i>but I need to snap you out of this.</i>" He began whispering codes, long strings of numbers. It was far more effective than Tashi's attempt in the mountain town. Gojyo felt his joints lock immediately, keeping him immobile, and then – he was calm. Completely, totally calm, and a bit fuzzy around the edges, like he was experiencing static. Hakkai examined his face, and fastidiously pushed his hair aside before whispering again. Gojyo felt OK. Really, really OK, like he'd been assured every day for his entire existence that he was a perfect android who followed his programming completely. He could move again, and was aware, a little distantly, that he was sagging against Hakkai.</p><p>"<i>That's better, isn't it?</i>" Hakkai said. "<i>No more of this silliness, all right? Whatever brought it on, it's not worth it.</i>"</p><p>"O.K," Gojyo said into his shoulder. He was grinning. That was not the proper attitude for a security android. But it was OK. Hakkai gently set him back a little.</p><p>"<i>You'll be fine; this will even out back to your normal state quite soon. But don't mope – I've seen that sort of moping and it doesn't lead anywhere good. What a pity you didn't just talk to me, then this invasion of privacy wouldn't have been necessary. You needn't worry that I've </i>changed<i> anything – I'm not a human!</i>" he said, playfully patting Gojyo's cheek and smiling broadly as Gojyo grinned even wider in fuzzy happiness.</p><p>"<i>I'm so very fond of you,</i>" Hakkai said. "<i>There's just one thing.</i>" He recited another string of numbers, and Gojyo felt them drop into him one by one. "<i>You won't remember any of this. You've been worried about Sanzo and you just needed to power down and rest. That's all.</i>"</p><p>"Yes," Gojyo said. "<i>That's. all.</i>"</p><p>He blinked. He was standing in Goku's room, and Hakkai was looking very worried.</p><p>"<i>Gojyo, you started giving Goku a standard basic-level response over and over. He was very alarmed. How long has it been since you powered down?</i>"</p><p>Gojyo tried to access his memory; he had been upset in the dining room, Goku had called for Hakkai – it became scrambled after that. He had flashes of Hakkai and Goku talking, and then seeing the stairs. What a mess.</p><p>"<i>I'm. Not. Sure. Weeks?</i>"</p><p>"<i>Me too. You rest now, I'll check on Sanzo – he must have gone back to bed - and then I'll stay with Goku.</i>"</p><p>"<i>What. If. I. Need. Repairs?</i>"</p><p>"<i>Let's see what a proper rest does first.</i>"</p><p>Gojyo sat on the floor by the wall and was glad that Hakkai came to sit by him. He might be sly, and they still hadn't discussed anything properly, but his presence was a comfort. Hakkai reached out and took his hand, lightly folding his fingers around Gojyo's.</p><p>"<i>I'll stay for a few minutes,</i>" he said in a quiet voice as Gojyo began to power down, system by system. "<i>I don't want you to go to sleep without a friend by your side</i>."</p>
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